Greater Manchester Police

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BREAKING NEWS
Finally an outside police force acting covertly, this morning arrested Nigel Roberts, formally of Nigel Roberts News Agents in Llandudno for his seven year reign as Internet Troll and publisher of ‘Thoughts Of Oscar’ troll blog.
They also brought in to be questioned re their involvement in the blog, David Jones, MP for Clwyd West, who we are told sang like a canary, hoping to make a deal, and Dylan Moore, his business partner, he can only be described as an utter coward.
Nigel Roberts was seen crying like a baby and appeared to have soiled his trousers as they led him away in hand cuffs.
DSU Walter Mitty, of Greater Manchester Police said “we were asked to investigate Mr Roberts and his associates sometime ago, as members of the public had raised serious concerns at the inability of North Wales Police to do so”. “We have concluded that this person and others, after a long period of harassment and defamation against members of the community have committed so many awful Internet crimes that the evidential material crosses the threshold for prosecution”. “North Wales Police like to think they are leaders in this area, showing other UK Police forces the way when it comes to fighting Internet abuse”.”Well in that they failed miserably”.
A statement issued by Chief Constable Mark Polin reads as follows, “I see myself as a pioneer, like Christopher Columbus, steering my ship on a true course, fighting the battle for all those affected by Internet abuse no matter how trivial”. “unfortunately some of my officers have failed both the public and our police force”, “but we have learnt our lessons and will try not to be so corrupt and so useless in the future”.
DC Ben Hurr, of Greater Manchester Polices Cyber Crimes Unit stressed the point that, and in his words “after a really thorough investigation, not just relying on the evidence presented to the useless fools at North Wales Police. by Mr Roberts and his company of trolls”. “Additionally we studied the incredibly large amount of evidence presented to us by the  victims and  evidence gleamed from examining Roberts many computer hard drives, plus with the help of Twitter etc, the extent of Mr Roberts abuse is unbelievable”.
Our Cyber Unit was set up for the specific purpose of targeting those who use the Internet with the sole intention to create upset and disharmony in the lives of others, we cannot possibly allow these kind of individuals to behave in this manner” after all we are paid public servants and are here to protect one and all, not just those who some forces choose to”!!!!
A spokes Person for VOO (Victims of Oscar) when informed of Mr Roberts arrest broke down with relief and exclaimed the joy in hearing the news, “I just cannot believe it, we always new NWPolice would continue to protect these people but were confident an outside force would get the job done,” “Thankyou”.
Yesterday when presented with this good news, the lovely seaside town of Llandudno started making plans for a celebration, local councillor Ken Dodd Stated, “the 1st of April will became an annual day for celebrating the demise of these horrible people who have blighted our town”.

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