What you don’t need

If you posses any of these qualities we don’t want you

  • The ability to uphold your oath:

    I, … of … do solemnly and sincerely declare and affirm that I will well and truly serve the Queen in the office of constable, with fairness, integrity, diligence and impartiality, upholding fundamental human rights and according equal respect to all people; and that I will, to the best of my power, cause the peace to be kept and preserved and prevent all offences against people and property; and that while I continue to hold the said office I will to the best of my skill and knowledge discharge all the duties thereof faithfully according to law.


    Rwyf i…o…yn datgan ac yn cadarnhau yn ddifrifol ac yn ddiffuant y byddaf yn gwasanaethu’r Frenhines yn dda ac yn gywir yn fy swydd o heddwas (heddferch), yn deg, yn onest, yn ddiwyd ac yn ddiduedd, gan gynnal hawliau dynol sylfaenol a chan roddi’r un parch i bob person; ac y byddaf i, hyd eithaf fy ngallu, yn achosi i’r heddwch gael ei gadw a’i ddiogelu ac yn atal pob trosedd yn erbyn pobl ac eiddo; a thra byddaf yn parhau i ddal y swydd ddywededig y byddaf i, hyd eithaf fy sgil a’m gwybodaeth, yn cyflawni’r holl ddyletswyddau sy’n gysylltiedig â hi yn ffyddlon yn unol â’r gyfraith.


  • Fairness: Impartial and just treatment or behaviour without favouritism or discrimination.
  • Integratory: The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
  • Diligence: Careful and persistent work or effort.
  • Impartiality: Equal treatment of all rivals or disputants; fairness.

If you possess any or all of the above you will not easily be accepted as a police officer serving in our police force, ‘North Wales Police’, the oath you swear is there to placate the rabble, the general public are completely ignorant of what we ‘North Wales Police‘ truly require of you during the execution of your duties and that’s the way we should strive to keep them. Those that dare to question our ethics/non ethics, we will deal with accordingly.

For guaranteed acceptance and advancement you must posses the following

  • An ability to lie without conscience, this helps enable convictions.
  • The ability to abuse the powers you are given, especially against those who are easily bullied.
  • Wherever possible use physical brutality to get your point across.
  • You are issued with tasers and pepper sprays, use them at will.
  • Children are seen by us as equals to adults, don’t concern yourself with illegal body searches etc, if anyone complains we will protect you.
  • The elderly, they all think were grate, so lets do everything to continue this charade.
  • Disabled, ‘well they are just a drain on society’, to quote our friends in the Freemasons.

Officers who have excelled in our expectations of them

  • DS John Hanson, as corrupt as they come, a born liar and a Freemason, he is a fine example to us all
  • ACC Gareth Prtchard, you couldn’t find a better example of a bent, lying officer and look how well he has done, he was even included in the Queens honors list last year.
  • Inspector Ian Verburg, if he was anymore bent you would have to say he suffered from ‘Peyronies’ disease, an officer to be held aloft, his ability to lie to the general public is second to none.
  • PC 1854 Gary James, if the truth be known this little man is a wannabe, he wants be just like the three officers mentioned above, as an investigator he is useless, as an interviewer of suspects he is a joke, but bless him we keep him on a string, he is after all a Freemason and we love Freemasons.

These are four of the officers who demonstrate all the qualities we require, I would be typing all day if I was to list every NWPolice officer who has all the qualities we desire.